One day in July 1980 my Mum got in a car with S__ my elder sister, drove to a place, (I forget where at the moment) and picked me up from a foster carer, I had been born to a 17 year old six weeks earlier. They often tell me that I cried all the way home. Mummy realised when she changed my nappy that I had horrid untreated nappy rash.
When I was 23 I had an abortion. We had gone and got a sandwich afterwards because I was ridiculously hungry - I was given some vitawheats when I woke up but they were covered in Vegemite & I hate Vegemite - By the time we were driving home I felt sick. N__ waited till I was wrapped up in bed and then went back to work.
When I watched Given or Taken? last week so much of it reminded me of the stories told in Jo Wainer's Book Lost - Illegal Abortion Stories. The lack of choice, the bewildering lack of control that the women who were sharing their stories had over their own tales.
If I was to tell a story of my abortion it would be one of sorrow and guilt and heartbreak, but also one of support and education and knowledge and empowerment and of decision making; and certainly not one of exploitation, extreme fear, hidden agenda's, and physical endangerment.
The stories that the women in Given or Taken? told were ones of confusion, lack of support and of an experience where empowerment was completely taken away from them.
I cannot help but feel so frustrated and heart broken hearing about all these women who society cast condemnation on. There was no social security available for decades, there was no education about sex and how to avoid pregnancy. Abortions could only be obtained illegally and that was part of a completely corrupt process.
Gloria Steinham's slightly flippant but true If Men Had Period's essay is often corrupted to just one line - If men had periods tampon's would be free; take that one step further as her contemporary Florynce Kennedy did and you have "If men got pregnant abortion would be sacrament."
Please note, I never did Women's Studies, and I am not at all a good essayist - this is a tumble of words and reactions. I used to buck under the concept of describing myself as a feminist - had big fights with Mama and Sister S__ about that word - but I'm fucking grateful I am not going to let anything that has been fought for before my time slip at least on my watch..
1 comment:
Great post - I love how you are always so giving and honest. I'm a feminist, but when push comes to shove it is just another label. It's what is in your heart and words that counts.
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