I have been busy, but also not. I would say that anyone's recovery from abuse and resulting/preceding spirals of shame and depression can take as damn long as they like.
I think I am no where near better
I have no idea what that (better) means. It is a horrid concept when you have a mental illness as it seems so far away = better = normal? And then we have the 8th grade philosophy discussion about what is normal.
What? You guys didn't do 8th grade philosophy?
In my experience - It can be crippling to think about not being a ball of failure when you are not even totally sure what makes you a ball of failure except that everything makes you a ball of failure.
But as it is a easy parallel to make to another disease (at least as a literary devise) lets say that I do think I am in remission.
And that it has all really come together in my head in the last 2 months.
I have not been writing cos I just didn't have anything that I needed to write. ... But lately I have started to scratch things out on the handwriting app on my google phone thingy.